OK expert mommies...this summer is going to kill me...literally...in the ground...with my hair pulled out...nails bit off...tongue slagging out of my mouth...kill me.
What should I do about my darling, sweet 3-year-old Nate who cries from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed at night? There are no sweet moments in between his bouts of hysteria. He has been miserable ever since his brother has been on hiatus from school. Much of it has been Mark driven, but for the most part he cries about everything. For example, I made turkey sandwiches yesterday for lunch and he wailed and gnashed his teeth for 20 min. because it wasn't peanut butter. My stubborn self will not give into such bratty behavior and I refuse to break and make another sandwich just to quell his tears. I tell myself I'm not going to to yell and get frustrated, but dang it! It's just so hard not to go bonkers while he's crying and I'm trying to calm him down and he won't be pacified. Any suggestions on how to create that "Love at Home" song here in Burley? I won't embarrass myself on national television by inviting the Super Nanny into my home, so I need some thoughts and suggestions. I've got my thumb on the other 3, it's that melt your heart faced Nate who is digging my grave.
Personal Revelation
8 years ago
4 comments:
Haha, the age old question.
I have this mindgame I turn to when my children are past the point of reasonable about their attitude. I call it "society".
The house and its members become society and anybody wishing to interact out in society must act appropriate. Certain things are all right to cry about, for say, 5 minutes (or whatever seems reasonable depending on situation). After that any continuing/remaining crying, or whining, or tantrum throwing, or anger, or mean talking, needs to be finished in bedroom by themself.
You'll be amazed how much less you care if they throw a tantrum when you don't have to see it.
Sometimes my kids go through a jag where they are continually removed to their rooms all day because otherwise they ruin everybodies else's day. (sometimes I have to remove myself to my room when I'm throwing a tantrum).
Dang that was long. But that has worked great for me. It has helped my children begin learning which actions and attitudes are pleasant to be around and which aren't.
I know I can give all the advice I want and perhaps it won't even apply to you and Nate because you've already tried it and what not but when I am having a really difficult time with certain individuals the answer I always come up with is to just love them more. For some reason, Nate must feel like he's not getting his due attention! Maybe you should sit Mark and Livvy down and explain to them that you are having a really hard time with Natey Boy and you are trying to figure out a way to make him fit in with "society" (thanks, Carrol!). Tell them that every day at a certain time of your choosing is going to be just for you and Nate. It probably only takes 15 minutes. Have a secret little treat or something that just you two get to enjoy in your bedroom and then read him a story or play a game. Make him feel really special. If you get Mark and Livvy on board, they might be really glad to let you have your private time with Nate in an effort to make him be more pleasant to be around. Maybe just you a Nate should try and go on a date. Then you can totally focus on him and it won't be so difficult and frustrating when he runs off and wants to "do his own thing" because you are not juggling other kids. Tell your other kids they will get a date sometime soon, too.
OK, I feel like I just wrote a novel.
I also agree with everything Carrol said. I was just trying to offer something different!
I love the advice from Whitney and Carrol, and I will take both of them for myself. Christopher acts like Nate when he is really, really tired. He hates everything so much it makes me laugh. For example, he'll see me and the first thing he says completely in a tantrum, "I hate that vest you're wearing." or "I hate watching TV." or "I hate candy." I know when he hates everything and everything makes him mad that he just needs more sleep. That often does the trick. Unfortunately making him get more sleep usually means more work for me during the day to get him to take a nap. Same with Whits, though, it's just a different slant, and I could still use your advice, Em. Good luck!
I have no advise! I am having the same problem with Grant. I can relate to all three comments. He is not getting enough sleep, he is throwing tantrums all the time, and I think he isn't getting enough attention from me or his sister. I am hoping in another week he will adjust to the summer schedule. If not he and I will be in time out a lot!!
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